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Five Beloved TV Shows I’ve Never Seen

March 12, 2010

Out of utter desperation to maintain my weekly feature, I present to you this sad little list which will no doubt get more hits and comments than any of my well-crafted essays:

1. Arrested Development. I feel like this is the television equivalent of (500) Days of Summer, i.e. if you haven’t seen it, you’re missing out and aren’t a chic indie hipster.*  AD is the show the characters in Summer probably watched.  It’s a cult classic, but since it doesn’t involve SciFi, its fans resent the term, even though it was cancelled by Fox, which puts it in good company. I have no idea if it’s good or not. I may have caught three minutes of one episode once; there was a man painted blue.

2. Mad Men. I’ve heard nothing but great things about this show, but have never been tempted to tune to AMC or pick up the DVDs. I like my period dramas to be British, and contained within a two-hour movie, or miniseries. That’s about all the subjugation of women I can handle.

3. Gossip Girl. Teen soap operas bored me when I was a teen. I never watched 90210 or Melrose Place either. I got enough of the bitchiness in school, and the students in question were never that good-looking. I’ve never really liked watching people be mean to one another just for the sake of being mean, which is why I don’t watch reality T.V.

4. South Park. I’m going to have to go with ‘ew’ on this one. Back in its heyday, it was the bane of my existence, and clips of it – not to mention merchandise – found their way before my eyes. Crude humor doesn’t do it for me, which is why I haven’t seen any of Judd Apatow’s films, and I was scarred for life after my high school film teacher made us watch Clerks because it was a perfect example of shooting a movie with no budget.

5. Dexter. The intense love people have for this show never fails to impress me. The main reason I never picked this show up is that I don’t need to spend an hour a week watching a serial killer do his stuff, even if he’s only killing other serial killers. I get enough blood and guts on my procedurals. The Anti-Hero is a trope I’m over – I prefer likable protagonists, the ones you don’t have to feel guilty about rooting for.

I could actually keep going; there are a number of television bandwagons I haven’t jumped on, but I’m going to cap it at five – mission accomplished.

*I liked (500) Days of Summer.

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