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Me, In the Rain

January 23, 2010

The Umbrella Conundrum ™: the physical impossibility of getting into your car, parked outside while it’s raining, without getting wet. I despise the Umbrella Conundrum.

1. I hated the rain when I was in elementary school. Blinded by foggy glasses, my hair expanded into a giant cloud, and I lost not one, but two duck’s head umbrellas, which were all the rage (the umbrellas, not losing them.) After school, in the dark, kids were crowded into a single room to wait for their parents, and then crossed great lakes, soaking feet through socks,  just to reach the parking lot.

2. When it rained in the fourth grade, recess was spent indoors, and all my classmates fought over the computers that had Jetpack and Oregon Trail. I raced to the games closet for Electronic Talking Mall Madness. Playing the game that encouraged my already rampant commercialism is one of the few memories I have of my friend Alanna, whose last name I can’t recall.

3. If it rained in middle school, I ate in the orchestra room, where I listened to my crush play the piano instead of listening to the falling rain, telling me what a fool I was. We never spoke, and he broke my heart. He probably didn’t even know my name.

4. I have never owned a really good pair of rain boots. I hate shoe shopping and will frequently purchase merely acceptable boots so that I don’t have to go to another store. These boots are usually not meant to be worn in puddles, but are good enough to survive the infrequent storms of L.A. I’m considering galoshes.

5. I fell in love with the rain in Oakland. From my dorm room at Mills College I could watch the lightning charge the sky and listen to the thunder burst, and I walked across campus without an umbrella, because  there were no men around to impress, and I didn’t care how I looked.

6. I fell out of love with the rain a year later when I worked as a camp counselor on a campus in the canyon. All alone with half-a-dozen rambunctious and frightened children during an intense storm – and the blacktop turned into a raging rapid. I plotted a horror screenplay based on the experience.

Today rain is just something that affects my commute, something escorted by high winds which make my ears ache and my nose run, something that turns the streets of Los Angeles into rivers because the city wasn’t built for actual weather.

When it rains I shake my head at the number of people running from building to building in booty shorts and flip flops, wondering why half of them managed to put on their Uggs, but forgot to put on pants.

And sometimes, if I’m lucky, the rain means rainbows.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Noah permalink
    January 24, 2010 12:42 am

    Holy Crap, Jetpack. That game was such a staple, and I had completely forgotten about it.

  2. Jeanette permalink
    January 24, 2010 12:33 pm

    Get rainboots! They will change your life. Rainboots actually make me WANT to walk outside when it’s raining.

  3. January 25, 2010 3:11 pm

    hahaha “wondering why half of them managaed to put on their Uggs, but forgot to put on pants.”
    Isn’t that the truth? They do that here in Delaware too

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