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How I’d Like Lost to End

April 1, 2009
tags:

losties

Lost is officially leaving the airwaves in 2010, and the writers really do seem to know where they’re going with all this.  But just in case they need a few more suggestions for our favorite castaways –

Kate gets eaten by Smokey. A Sawyer/Juliet shipper, the island’s monster takes matters into his own hands to prevent Miss Austen from screwing things up and confronts her over her guilt about Claire and Aaron.  She dies and starts haunting Jack, while Sawyer and Juliet start a Dharma Initiative book club.

Family reunion. Tying up a few loose ends, Claire and Jack have a tearful exchange after Jack hunts her down in the jungle and reveals that she’s his sister. She tells him that he’s not crazy for having seen their dead father all over the place. There’s a hug, and they all go on Dr. Phil.

Rose and Bernard live happily ever after. Whenever they are, they’re the only Losties to actually get a happy ending when Bernard opens his New New Otherton dental practice and Rose takes Locke’s position as de facto leader after he’s deposed for being batshit insane.

Hurley and Miles become Ghost Hunters. Returning to the mainland, they get their own cable show and team up to share the final messages of the dearly departed.  That totally brings in the chicks.

Benry achieves world domination through his use of mutant polar bears. Unfortunately it’s lonely at the top, and he seeks out Desmond, inviting the psychic Scot to kill him.  Des has other plans, and uses Daniel’s research to turn Big Ben into Little Ben, affording him the opportunity to start all over again without the abusive father, hippie Dharma upbringing, and whatever it is Richard does to him in that temple.

Richard is Father Time – or Santa Claus. He doesn’t answer to Widmore or “Ellie,” but he answers to phantom Jacob, and never ages.  He’s probably Jesus.

Aaron grows up and marries Ji Yeon. After the wedding the two little Losties head to sea for their honeymoon compliments of their good friend Captain Charlie Hume, and shipwreck on the island.  They decide to build a hotel and resort – complete with water slide and monkey butlers – and eventually run into the cast from Gilligan’s Island.

Everyone comes together at the end for a rousing chorus of Kumbaya. The living and the dead, including Charlie, Boone, Shannon, Mr. Eko, and many more, close out the show with a demonstration of unification that leaves the audience in tears. We are the world, and whatnot.

(Honestly?  It’s hard to write an ending for a show that knows exactly where it’s going, but doesn’t tell you. I love Lost.)

Stay tuned for more.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 6, 2009 5:55 am

    Just came across your site. Quite enjoyable. I really enjoy your ideas for “LOST.” I love the show too, and am hoping it gets wrapped up nicely.

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