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How I’d Like Chuck to End

March 30, 2009


E.R. is closing the emergency room doors this week, and one of the article suggestions passed around by my editors at Starpulse this month was “How We’d Like to See Lost End.” Though someone beat me to it, it got me thinking about how I’d like to see some of my favorite shows come to a close. I’ve watched satisfying series finales (Charmed) and less-than-satisfying (ahem, Angel), but I’m also no stranger to having shows cancelled out from under me with no finale whatsoever.

So this week, I present to you: “How I’d Like…” Starting with Chuck.

Chuck is on the bubble, and I’ll be compiling a list of reasons to keep it on the air for Starpulse, but just in case my brilliant logic isn’t enough to save it (and the fact that I love it is probably a death sentence), here are some of the things I hope to see before Chuck is taken to a secret underground NSA bunker, never to be heard from again.

Chuck earns his official spy badge. After meeting another nerdy agent who was conscripted into espionage against her will, Chuck decides that Intersect or no Intersect, certain spy skills would come in handy. Though he never really Bonds, he finally accepts his role with the government – and the health plan.

*I* am your father. The true mastermind behind the Intersect is revealed to be Chuck’s long-lost dad. Despite being an dick, he manages to earn Chuck’s forgiveness in just a few short days. Sadly, he takes a bullet meant for Morgan, and dies before he can walk Ellie down the aisle – but not before he tells Chuck their missing mother is, of course, a Fulcrum agent.

The computer no longer wears Converse. Chuck gets his one true wish and has the Intersect removed using a combination of magic, nanites, and copious amounts of alcohol. After the CIA and NSA pack up and leave, he feels all empty inside, and trudges back to his dead-end job at the Buy More. But, aha! The ‘cure’ doesn’t last, and after a week of fevered dreams, Chuck’s back in business.

Jeffster does not play at Ellie and Awesome’s wedding. The ceremony is perfectly lovely, and Chuck gives Ellie away, naturally, then he shares wistful, longing looks with maid of honor Sarah up at the altar. Unfortunately, before they cut the awesome cake, Chuck flashes on one of the wedding guests – his mother.

Mother Fuc- Chuck’s mother the Fulcrum agent also happens to be General Beckman’s younger sister, and has an inoperable brain tumor. Though her assignment is to kill Chuck, she really, really can’t. She and Sarah have a totally crazy fight scene, which ends in a draw, and Mrs. Bartowski tells Sarah that her son deserves to be happy, or something mushy like that. Then Mrs. B walks off into the sunset.

Arivederci, Buy Moria. Morgan says or does something that shows Chuck exactly how to bring down Fulcrum, and in so doing, he burns the Buy More to the ground, though he makes sure to rescue Big Mike’s fish. Morgan finally moves in with Anna and becomes completely co-dependent, and the music career of Jeff and Lester hits it big in Sweden.

Casey meets Nancy Reagan. Once Chuck no longer needs protecting, Casey’s promoted to Lieutenant Colonel and “retires” to California, where he drives the former-First Lady around in his Crown Victoria and protects her from ninja assassins.

The declaration. After long lectures from Ellie and the Captain about true love and not letting it get away, Chuck and Sarah once again fail to admit their feelings, and say goodbye with a lot of angsting on either side. Sarah has a new assignment, and Chuck has decided to take a post as a CIA analyst. The next day he takes one last trip to the Orange Orange, reminiscing about the Wienerlicious and his fake-relationship. Then the girl behind the fro-yo counter turns around – and it’s Sarah. She takes her ten minute break, and over a cup of frozen yogurt, tells Chuck that she loves him. His reply? “Awesome.”

Stay tuned for more.

In memory of Andy Hallett (Lorne on Angel) who passed away yesterday at age 33.

In memory of Andy Hallett (Lorne on Angel) who passed away yesterday at age 33.

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