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Dear Craigslist: atheist4acceptance – 23 – Willing to Bargain Down to 30 Pieces of Silver

November 8, 2008

SWF with Bachelor’s Degree from respected California university seeks tolerance and/or good will.  Phi Beta Kappa.  Doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, have sex, or believe in God.  Only vice is swearing, mostly to fill void.  Loves dogs and other furry animals.  Can’t stand shellfish.  Has never stolen, been arrested, cheated, or committed adultery.  Murder is plotted in fiction only.  Does lie on occasion, but always feels guilty afterwards – family background is Jewish and Roman Catholic.  Celebrates Christmas and Passover in the tradition of family, culture, food, and presents.

Would prefer to live an open life without fear of being despised for failing to be slave to the dictates of 3,500 year old manuscript.  Has no particular issue with God, Jesus, Yahweh, Allah, Siva, Buddha, or Cthulhu. Knows the difference between right and wrong.  Believes in evolution.  Always throws salt over left shoulder after it spills.  Has great sense of humor and little patience for stupidity.  Likes to consider self tolerant of others providing same.

Absolutely DOES NOT WANT to be converted.  Has no need to be saved.  Knows where to find J.C. if necessary.  Respects this lawsuit.  Does not have an anti-religious agenda.  Is not affiliated with Richard Dawkins.  Is both generous and selfish, i.e. human.  Would do anything for parents or friends.  Interested in meeting like-minded individuals and forming community as apparently this is the only way to be a decent human being outside of religion.

Please contact regarding understanding, peace, intelligent conversation, or winning lotto numbers.  Does not wish to hear from evangelicals, fanatics, that boy who was mean in the second grade, or people with poor grammar.

Thank you,

Godless in the City of Angels

Quote of the Day:

Afterward, his commander asked whether he believed in God, Hall said.

“I said, ‘No, but I believe in Plexiglas,”‘ Hall said. “I’ve never believed I was going to a happy place. You get one life. When I die, I’m worm food.”

Link of the Day: Celebrity Atheists or Agnostics

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. November 8, 2008 7:59 pm

    AMEN. I mean…well-put!

  2. November 8, 2008 8:02 pm

    hey that sounds pretty good to a 23 SWM living in the Houston area attending school to become an elementary school teacher.

  3. November 10, 2008 1:39 am

    I <3 this post. And I love the picture of Pilot too!

  4. Derek permalink
    November 10, 2008 3:31 pm

    Once again, I find myself admiring your wit and intelligence. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to find my own philosophies reflected so closely in another person beyond my own family. Sad though it may be, I find, increasingly, that tolerance is becoming a rarity in this world of ours. As a single white male struggling to build a career as an educator in America, I am often confronted with the issue of tolerance. Though I can’t say that I’ve had much experience with religious intolerance (excepting, of course, from my ex-girlfriend the devout Christian), I do find myself advocating often for the tolerance of culture. As an Arizona resident, I am also confronted regularly with the American intolerance of immigrants (one of our greatest ironies when one considers that one way or another all American families immigrated to this land at one point or another). As a teacher of English language learners, mostly immigrants, I am faced, day in and out, with the complete lack of regard for Latin culture held by the state as I am commanded to force our language upon my students while disciplining them for using theirs.

    Not quite the ideas that you have expressed, I’ll admit, but certainly they are relevant to the overarching theme of tolerance and intolerance. In any event, I wholeheartedly agree with your words of wisdom and I restate my belief that you have a fantastic personality. If ever you should desire to share correspondence as friends or even just as two like minds, I would be honored indeed. Never have I found another person whose passions, interests, values, and philosophies so closely mirrored my own. Adieu.

  5. Diana permalink
    November 16, 2008 10:36 pm

    Sigh…this makes me sad.

  6. March 3, 2009 5:17 pm

    I appreciate your candor, humor and godless sensibilities.

    God believing does not have to be tedious or close minded to your own convictions, it is a personal belief much like your own. I dislike those that are on a crusade to “save” the world.

    You sound like you live by a great example. I hope you find that person who wants you for all the right reasons and you find much happiness on this mortal coil we must share, believer and non-believer alike.

    peace.

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