Skip to content

Where the Hell is My Diploma?

October 23, 2008

My dance card might be full, but at the moment I’m standing by the punch bowl. Absolutely nothing of interest has happened the past few days, and yet I feel compelled to blog.

I miss college, and I’m starting to wonder if I could just walk right onto campus and steal one of the seats in an advanced fiction class – between the incessant UCR emails about events and emergencies happening 60 miles away, and the fact that Riverside still hasn’t sent me my diploma, they must think I’m still a student.

I loved UCR, I really did, and if it weren’t for the classes, I’d stay in college forever. Technically, if it weren’t for the grades I’d stay in college forever. But I’ve paid my dues, and I want my goddamned piece of paper stating something to that effect.

I do miss my friends. Facebook, and e-mail, and IM, and texting are great, but it’s hard to actually find time to see each other face to face. I miss the nights of debauchery, of staying out ’til 4am, getting drunk, and scouring the city for that elusive music group, Where’s Fluffy-

Oh, right, that wasn’t me. That was Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist. My idea of a good time is a Farscape marathon, a can of Dr. Pepper, and something chocolate (which I’ve just decided is my new band name.) Other people are optional.

Adventure is not a great look for me. Once, on a simple mission to see Pirates of the Caribbean, I got stranded at night in Downtown Oakland with only one contact lens, a hungry stomach, and an empty wallet. I was not a happy camper.

Though I think if I wasn’t a) infirm, b) a wuss, c) short-tempered, and d) incapable of surviving without food, water, or my hair dryer, I’d try out for The Amazing Race. It’s not really hard to understand why people do it – the race is, in fact, amazing. I’d do it for the experience alone, even though most of the relationships dissolve into big gooey messes and you have to perform arduous – occasionally disgusting – tasks. I think I’d talk my cousin Andrew into being my partner. He’s a mellow guy, physically fit, and we’ve always gotten along well. Also he’s really tall, which I’m sure would come in handy at some point.

I was a Good Samaritan yesterday – I stopped to help someone who had been in an accident earlier close the hood of their car. Just doing my part to prove that not all Angelenos are as soulless as people seem to think we are.

Quote of the Day:

Norah: If you don’t have a drummer, then why do you have drums you fistful of assholes?

Dev: [trying to come up with clever names for their band] Fistful of assholes! I like it.

Link of the Day: No Ordinary Rollercoaster – a funny, dachshund-loving blogger I discovered through 20something Bloggers whose writing reminds me of David Sedaris. If he wasn’t gay, in Nova Scotia, and involved with someone, I think I’d marry him.

Advertisements
No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: